Photo by Jeanette R. Harrison, MPH The holidays are often seen as a time for togetherness and support—a season where family steps in to lift one another up, especially when life feels heavy. But what happens when reaching out for help is met with judgment instead of compassion? This holiday season, I reached out to family, hoping for a little support during a challenging time. What I got instead were controlling remarks, unsolicited advice, and excuses about why they couldn’t or wouldn’t help. What stung the most wasn’t just their refusal to help, but the way they framed it. “You should focus on helping yourself before trying to help others,” they said, as if my life’s purpose and the way I navigate challenges are somehow invalid. Ironically, these same family members—who’ve never offered meaningful help in the past—seemed to think they had the right to critique my choices, despite having their own share of questionable decisions. And then there were my nieces, who, for reason...
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