by Jeanette R. Harrison, MPH
One night in February 2020 changed everything.
I was living with my ex—someone I’d been with for twelve years—while working on my second poetry book, There's Only Reality. I poured my heart onto those pages, even as cruel voices from my past reminded me I wasn’t meant to be loved. I’ll never forget the hurtful words from some college acquaintances: “Some people just weren’t meant to be loved, Jeanette.” Even though love is a human right, their bitterness cut deeply.
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My dog, Mosie, has been with me through this massive life change. She was an anniversary gift years before, but she turned out to be my source of hope and salvation. This photo was taken in 2020, shortly after I moved to Idaho. |
That evening, while listening to He’s Not That Interested, He’s Only Passing Time on Audible, my ex unexpectedly entered my home office. Wrapped in the comfort of my writing chair, I was unprepared when he said, “I just want to tell you that I've been openly dating someone else.” I quietly responded, “Okay, I guess we are done.” Then he demanded I move out of the home we’d built together—my sanctuary of stability—so his new girlfriend could move in. I pleaded for time until October, and though he agreed, I knew my life was about to unravel.
Betrayal and Isolation
I was working for Pearson as a scorer and had planned to use my upcoming earnings to escape this toxic situation. I had even visited Idaho the previous fall with the hope of finding refuge. However, that trip deepened my wounds. My sister and her kids treated me like an outcast—cold, dismissive, and even manipulative. Their rejection, combined with cruel whispers from those who once claimed to care, left me feeling profoundly isolated.
Then, in March 2020, COVID-19 hit, shutting down the world. Instead of spiraling into despair, I focused on my plan to rebuild. My dreams of New York or Texas quickly faded amid lockdowns and natural disasters, leaving me with one choice: start over in Idaho—a place where I already felt unwanted.
Starting Over With Nothing
As time ticked away, I faced the brutal reality of being on my own. With my job furloughed and only meager unemployment benefits, I scrambled to secure an apartment. After countless calls, I finally found a place in Eagle—just a few blocks from where my unsupportive sister lived. Even this small victory was shadowed by the incredible sinking feeling I felt.
Forced to leave my ex’s home—under threats and even violence—I sold my car for $300, along with my bike, jewelry, and other belongings, to fund my new start. In May 2020, I bought a one-way plane ticket for my dog, Mosie, and myself. In July 2020, I left behind everything familiar and stepped into the unknown with just two suitcases, a few boxes, and an unyielding determination to survive. I moved out on the anniversary of the day I moved in with my ex. I had $2400 to start over with, and that was for rent, in the middle of a pandemic.
I arrived in Idaho to a cold reception: no one was waiting for me, and even my sister’s help was tainted with dismissive remarks. I spent the first few nights on a broken air mattress in an apartment that barely felt like home, feeling more alone than ever. I cried myself to sleep living in denial that this was happening to me. I kept telling myself I would get my furniture later, knowing I wasn't going to be able to because I didn't have the money.
Enduring Hardship and Clinging to Hope
Throughout these trials, I dedicated myself to writing and even built a business from scratch to help others facing similar struggles. Yet, despite my efforts, the constant financial hardship and isolation persist. I have been battling these challenges for five long years, and I’m tired of struggling alone.
That’s why I’ve created a GoFundMe page to help cover immediate needs like rent, food, and basic living expenses. Every donation, no matter how small, is a lifeline that gives me hope and helps me keep fighting. I believe that no one should have to face such relentless hardship by themselves, and I’m reaching out in the hope that someone—anyone—will stand with me.
If you’ve ever felt that the odds were stacked against you, or if you believe that everyone deserves a chance at rebuilding their life, please consider donating or sharing my story.
With gratitude and hope-
Jeanette
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