Have you ever felt like every step forward is met with someone trying to pull you back? Recently, I mentioned a goal I was working toward, and instead of encouragement, I was met with a suggestion to consider a generic retail job. It wasn't the first time someone’s comment made me feel less than, but this time, it struck a deeper nerve. It made me realize how little this person thinks of me.
 |
Photo by Jeanette R. Harrison, MPH |
The truth is, comments like these can feel deflating and make you question everything—your goals, your dreams, and even your self-worth. You may start to feel like others think you don't deserve anything in life. And if you’re already struggling with self-doubt, it can feel like confirmation of your worst fears.
For me, this comment was especially hurtful because it reminded me of a fear I’ve carried for years: that I’ll never get to live my dreams. Writing books is one of the few dreams I’ve achieved, but even that often feels diminished. Sure, a few hundred people downloaded my books, but most of those downloads were free. Instead of celebrating what I accomplished, I sometimes feel like it’s not enough—like I’m just "a free on the curb" person, chasing dreams I’ll never catch.
But here’s the thing: dreams don’t always unfold the way we envision them, and that doesn’t make them any less valid. Writing books might not have brought me massive recognition or financial success (yet), but it’s something many people never accomplish. It’s an achievement that reflects persistence, creativity, and the courage to put my work out into the world. Even if only a handful of people were inspired by my writing, that’s still a meaningful impact.
We live in a world where success is often measured in numbers—followers, sales, dollars—but the real value of our efforts isn’t always quantifiable. Just because you haven’t reached a specific milestone yet doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every small step is progress, and every challenge you overcome adds to your strength and resilience.
If you’ve ever felt this way, I want to share a few things I’ve learned about handling discouragement and staying focused on your goals:
-
Remember Your "Why." When you feel deflated, reconnect with the reason you set your goal in the first place. What inspired you to start? What’s the bigger picture you’re working toward? Focusing on your "why" can help you stay grounded when doubt creeps in.
-
Separate Intentions from Impact. Sometimes, people’s comments come from their own fears or limitations, not from an intent to harm you. That doesn’t mean their words don’t sting, but it can help to remember that their perspective isn’t a reflection of your worth or potential.
-
Celebrate Your Wins—Big and Small. It’s easy to focus on what you haven’t achieved yet, but take a moment to acknowledge what you have done. Writing a book, starting a business, pursuing an education—these are all incredible accomplishments that deserve recognition, even if they don’t look exactly how you imagined.
-
Surround Yourself with Encouragement. Seek out people and communities who believe in you and your vision. Their support can be a powerful antidote to negativity and help you keep moving forward.
-
Be Kind to Yourself. Self-doubt is a heavy burden, and it’s easy to be your own harshest critic. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that progress is not linear. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
When others discourage you, it’s not always about you—it’s often a reflection of their own fears, insecurities, or lack of understanding. But even when their words cut deep, remember that their opinions don’t define your potential. Your journey is yours, and no one else has the right to dictate its value.
So, keep going. Keep dreaming. Keep taking steps toward the life you want to create. Because even when it feels like no one else believes in you, you always have the power to believe in yourself.
Comments
Post a Comment