One of the first people who comes to mind is a friend of mine from college. He and I spent a lot of time together, probably thousands of hours. When I was discouraged from applying to law school as an undergraduate, I had to figure out what I was going to do with my history degree. I decided to go back to school and get my secondary education endorsement so I could teach high school. Everyone was fine with it, except for him. He told me that I should become a professor. In fact, he and many of his friends called me "professor" throughout school. He was the first one to put that idea into my head, and he encouraged me to become a faculty member. And, since he believed in me, it helped me to believe in myself. Even the faculty started to believe I should become a professor, too.
My dad was also very supportive of me becoming a professor and brought up the idea again when I was in graduate school. Even though I didn't become a faculty member right away, my dad supported me in what I was doing. When I would go home to visit, he would sit and talk to me about my work or what I was doing. Even if he wasn't that knowledgeable in the area, he tried to piece together what he did know about and hold a conversation with me about it. I loved it. I love seeing the wheels turning in people's minds as they make connections.
Another person in my life who was really supportive of me was my grandma. She supported me in whatever I did. She sent me letters and cards and came to my concerts when I was a kid. She picked me up for church on Sundays and always made me feel like she was so proud of me. I never had to wonder for five seconds if she liked me or not, because she showed me all the time that she loved me.
 |
| Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
I was really fortunate to have those two people in my family life who were supportive of me. I also had a whole group of friends who are also writers or artists of some type and who know what writing and creating are all about. It takes a lot of courage and energy to put your thoughts down on a page for everyone else to read. And, they get that. When you create an expression -- painting, writing, dancing, choreographing, sculpting, crafting, building -- it's an expression of who you are. I learned that as a child because that is something my mother was always supportive of me regarding -- developing my creative talents and my talents in music.
I had stopped writing for a long time, and the reason I started writing again was because of an elderly woman who attended my church. I learned as a young girl that we have much to learn from older adults, so I regularly had "older adult" friends. I used to call this woman regularly, and she would give me advice (often good advice, I might add). She would tell me about her life and allow me to share my life experiences with her. She told me she considered herself like a "mother figure" to me. I was so honored that she thought of me that way. She was such an interesting, intelligent, talented person. So, when she suggested that I start writing again, I did.
Even at work, there are people who supported me. I have countless stories of how I was supported at work, which is the reason I was able to be promoted repeatedly and felt the courage and confidence to succeed in my roles. I recall a time where I was transitioning from a position in the transcription department at an academic medical center to an administration intern where I was learning to be a leader. The transcription manager was upset with me because I was voicing my opinion and not being "nice." The other leaders in the room were proud of me because I was spreading my wings, even if it wasn't coming out as smoothly as I liked.
The thing is, the people who really support you, they are going to support you no matter what. They are going to watch you even when you are tripping over your own wings. For me, they would push me by gently telling me, "Hey, you might want to do this differently" or "Maybe you should say this." That is exactly what my friend who told me to become a professor used to do for me, and I did the same for him. And, there are people, who criticize me in an unconstructive way and make me feel like everything I do is wrong or I have no value except for what I can do for them. Those people aren't supporting me. I hope you understand the difference.
Even if it isn't always family or close friends, there is going to be someone out there who "gets you" and what you are trying to do and what you are trying to accomplish. We live in this really great age right now where you can connect to those people through the internet or meetups or whatever you want to do. So, when you start hearing that negative narrative, and you feel like no one supports you, just turn to those people who do.
Comments
Post a Comment